Why Is Parenting So Hard in This Generation?

Why Is Raising Kids So Hard?

Raising kids isn’t hard just because of chores, sleepless nights, or the mental load. Yes, those things matter—but they’re not the whole story. What truly makes this journey hard today is that we’re trying to raise emotionally mature humans while healing from our own childhood wounds. We’re breaking cycles, learning on the go, and showing up every day—even when it hurts. And that deep, invisible work? That’s what makes parenting so hard.

And why we’re doing it anyway—because our kids deserve better.

We’re breaking cycles our parents never dared to touch

Let’s be real. We’re not just raising children—we’re healing. We’re trying to raise emotionally mature children while carrying the emotional wounds our own childhood gave us. We were raised in a time when obedience mattered more than understanding. Backtalk? Disrespect. Crying? Weakness. Expressing anger? Unacceptable.

Now here we are, trying to teach our kids how to name their feelings, how to calm their little nervous systems, and how to feel safe being who they are. No one showed us how to do that growing up. We’re learning on the go, fumbling, crying behind locked bathroom doors, and reading posts at midnight.

And this emotional rewiring we’re doing while guiding our little ones—this is what makes mom life so hard.

We’re raising our kids without a manual… and with a lot of judgment

We don’t just get tired eyes from sleepless nights—we get eye rolls from family members too. You ever hear this one: “We didn’t raise you like this, and you turned out fine”? Or “Stop spoiling your kid; they need discipline!”?

This morning, I had an argument with my dad—again. I told him, even at 63, he and my mom are still fighting like kids. And what did I get in return? “You sound just like your mom, always arrogant.” It hurt. And it brought back all those feelings I thought I had moved past. But I haven’t. Because I’m still healing while trying to raise my kids differently.

Standing up for a better approach to raising kids while being called “too soft” or “too modern”—this is what makes this journey so hard.

We’re expected to unlearn and relearn—while doing it in real time

Let’s face it—we didn’t grow up with tools like emotional regulation, connection-based discipline, or validating feelings. Heck, we didn’t even know what a “trigger” meant until we became moms! If I had become a mom 15 years ago, I probably would’ve followed the same traditional way I was raised—not because I wanted to, but because I didn’t know how else to do it.

But social media became a silent teacher. Through voices like Dr. Becky Kennedy, I finally began understanding that emotional safety is the foundation of discipline. I didn’t have time to read stacks of parenting books. But I had a phone and a will to change. That was enough.

Learning how to raise emotionally grounded kids while already doing it—and getting it mostly from Instagram reels—is what makes this whole ride so hard.

We’re doing the emotional heavy lifting so our kids don’t have to

We don’t just want our kids to “turn out okay”. This generation parents want them to thrive and grow into joyful, confident little humans—with us striving daily to be the best moms we can be. We want them to be secure, calm, emotionally mature humans who don’t have to Google “How do I set boundaries with my parents?” when they turn 30.

We’re doing the work now so they can walk lighter later. That’s why we stay calm when we’re triggered and we apologize when we lose it and we explain instead of yelling. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it.

Trying to raise better humans while still learning how to be one ourselves is the real definition of a good parent in this messy, love-filled journey—that’s what makes raising kids so hard.

But here’s the truth: we’re changing the future

We might not see it now, but this slow, painful, intentional work we’re doing as moms—it’s working. Our kids will grow up in homes where “I love you” is said often, where they can cry without shame, and where they are heard even when they’re small.

Someday, they won’t struggle with parenting like we did. They’ll do it naturally because they grew up with emotional safety. They won’t be figuring it out in their 30s like us. And that’s our biggest win. (All the emotional load we’re carrying now—it’s clearing the path for them.)

And maybe—just maybe—that’s what makes parenting so hard… but so worth it.

We carry the weight of raising kids alone—even with a partner beside us

One of the hardest parts? Trying not to argue in front of our kids, and learning to communicate with love—even when the person we love the most won’t step up the way we hoped. My husband doesn’t criticize my parenting—he even admits it’s good. But he doesn’t support me either. Not with parenting, not with the home. And that silence? It’s not calm—it’s absence.

There have been moments I’ve exploded in front of my daughters—those flashes of anger that come from burnout, resentment, and feeling invisible. In the heat of frustration, I’ve said things I regret deeply—like telling him to leave us and find someone else. Those words still echo in my heart. I’m a stay-at-home mom with no income, no financial backup—and yet, in those moments, the emotional load feels heavier than any bank balance.(Yes, I write a blog—but like many beginner bloggers, I haven’t started earning from it yet) . I’m still building it with love and honesty, hoping it helps someone out there.

I didn’t mean those words… I was just exhausted, unheard, and overwhelmed. But here’s the thing—I’m working on it. I’ve started focusing more on his good qualities and working on healing that inner voice that once felt unloved. And slowly, the fire inside me has softened. The fights have become fewer. My daughters now see more calm, less chaos.

Trying to keep the peace while raising kids alone in a partnership—that’s what makes this role so hard.

The Pressure to Spend—and the Guilt That Follows

When I became a mom, I was flooded with child-rearing advice from every direction—especially Instagram. One post convinced me that I had to get a high chair to teach my baby independent eating. So, I bought one. Was it helpful? Maybe. Was it necessary? Not really. And that’s where it hits—every dollar matters once a baby enters your life. Social media is a double-edged sword. Yes, I’ve found some budget-friendly play ideas and activity hacks that truly helped, but I’ve also made impulsive purchases that strained our finances. That silent money stress? This is what makes mom life hard.

Conclusion: One Life to Live, Let’s Not Just Pass the Days

Everything I’ve shared in this article—emotional healing, breaking generational patterns, financial struggles, raising kids without real support—these are the things that make raising my two sweet angels such a challenge for me. But I know every mom’s story is different. What feels heavy for one might feel manageable for another. That’s the beauty and the burden of raising our kids—we all carry different weights.

I’m learning to work through not just the hard parts of raising kids but also the tough corners of other relationships in my life. Because I believe when life feels easy and peaceful—even in the chaos of motherhood— happiness quietly walks in and stays.

So, dear Mama, take a moment. Reflect on what makes raising kids hard for you. Don’t brush it aside—analyze it, acknowledge it, and take small steps to make it lighter. We only get one life, and it’s not meant to be just survived. It’s meant to be lived fully, calmly, and joyfully—right alongside our children.

Now it’s your turn—what’s one thing that makes parenting hard for you right now? Drop it in the comments. Let’s talk, support, and grow together.